FightFlight
by moonswirl
Summary: Gleekathon, days 899a and 901a: Something has happened, and Santana seeks to find out, leaving her in shock.
1. A Moment in Flight

_Started my daily ficlets to make the hiatus pass, then decided to keep going with a 2nd cycle, and then a 3rd, 4th, etc through 42nd cycle. Now cycle 43!_

* * *

><p><em><strong>INTRODUCING "CHEAT SHEET" - <strong>If you want to know ahead of time when a certain series will be updated next, just reassemble the link below and check out the list, save it, print it, bookmark it, whatever you need!  
>Go to: <span>gleekathon [dot] tumblr [dot] com [slash] cheatsheet<span>_

_** UPDATED WITH CYCLE 43 CHEAT SHEET ** Check it out to find out about **shift days**!_

* * *

><p><em><strong>This is a shift day [see above].<strong> There will be another upload this afternoon: The Long Aloha, chapter 3._

* * *

><p><strong>FIGHTFLIGHT**

**1 of 2  
>"A Moment In Flight"<br>Santana & Karofsky **

It didn't take them long to figure out something had happened. What that something was, they didn't know, but it had happened. The teachers were sharing words in hushed tones, a few of them looked almost terrified, stricken… lost. A lot wouldn't care, but it would be those who hadn't bothered to notice. For the others, it left dread in its wake, in the not knowing.

Santana didn't know what it was either, but she had this feeling, like knowing would break her heart a little… break it a lot. It was when she'd seen Miss Pillsbury go by. Their eyes had met, just one moment, and then the guidance counsellor couldn't hold her gaze as she kept moving. If she hadn't seen Brittany five seconds ago, her mind would already have started spinning horror stories where this sadness had been caused by something happening to her. But then if it wasn't her, it still had to be that something had happened to one of them, or…

She counted them off in her head, the ones she'd seen since the day had started, all these people, her friends, whether she'd wanted them or not at first, they had joined her world and she couldn't bear the thought of them ever leaving it in the near future. Except as she thought, everyone was accounted for. This one she'd seen before first period, those two in first period, two more before the next class, four in second period… It couldn't be… not her family, no, that wouldn't make sense, with the teachers… She hated not knowing.

She didn't know why she did it, but she doubled back and followed after Miss Pillsbury. It wasn't hard to find the redhead again, bobbing through the crowded hall. Santana knew how to cut her way through, and before long she'd made it out to see Emma go into her office and shut the door. She walked up toward the door, carefully peering in. She watched the woman slowly sit at her desk, a sort of shocked expression quivering over her features. Santana frowned, wishing she knew what was happening.

She wasn't going to get anywhere by staying here, so she'd gone back up the hall, seeking a new lead. She might have been able to let it go and move on before, but since her eyes had crossed Emma's, she couldn't. She had to find out what was happening.

She saw Coach Beiste, Coach Sylvester… They both had something in them, too – they knew. They were walking together, talking, and to Santana it was a red flag. Those two were never on speaking terms, to her knowledge, in fact Coach Sylvester usually encouraged for them to mess with football coach. And now… now something had united them in a common state of mind.

It was enough. She didn't like this feeling, and she had to find out what was happening. She hurried her steps toward the principal's office, figuring the biggest talk might be happening there, and she could catch part of it if she was quick about it.

She didn't have time to think. Just as she was getting close, Mr. Schuester was coming out of the office with Figgins in tow, and she ducked to the side, turning away so they wouldn't notice her. It was as they passed that she managed to hear them.

"… the Glee Club. They have a history with Dave Karofsky, they should hear it from…"

When they'd passed, she'd spun back, looking after them. Karofsky. This was about him, this… what… Something had happened to him, right? Was he injured, or… Before she knew it, she was following after the two men. At this point they were so busy talking they'd never notice her.

"… delicate situation, William."

"I know. That's why I want to address it with them before too long. They're going to be hearing a lot of things, about what he did…"

No… No, no… It couldn't be what she was thinking, it couldn't be. Oh… no…

She'd sort of lost her footing when the thought had hit her, a good old sledgehammer of a hit, and she'd stopped walking. Now the men were getting away and she had to hurry to catch up with them again.

"… find out more about his condition, I will let you know," Figgins told Schuester before continuing on, while her teacher stayed there. When she saw him start to turn she just made a dash into the girls' bathroom, which was thankfully nearby. She counted to thirty in her head, allowed herself to breathe through it, and once the time had elapsed she exited back into the hall – he was gone.

But now she had this knowledge. She'd so needed to have that knowledge, and now that she had it she wished she didn't. She'd only caught it piece by piece, and a lot of those pieces alluded to something without using the proper words, but she could fit them together just fine.

Karofsky had tried to kill himself, tried and, thankfully, failed, from what she got. That it hadn't worked was just one thing, a favorable end note. The thing was that he'd tried, and it left her flooded with too many feelings to know what to do with. They hadn't had as much contact lately, with him off at another school now, but they still talked from time to time. She thought he was doing okay, needed to know that he was doing okay. Something had to have happened to have changed that, changed him, to the point where he would consider this as his only solution.

Maybe the hardest part about it, on the more personal level, was the idea that he had gotten there, that they could get there. Worst of all it made her wonder if it could ever happen to her, if things could get so bad that she would think… It was easy to tell herself 'oh but I wouldn't,' but then Dave had probably told himself the same thing, until that day… Somewhere in the world, there had been a trigger with his name on it, and it had been pulled, tossing events in motion. Did she have a trigger?

Now he was alive, alright. That wasn't going to make everything better for him all over again, just like that. Where was his head at, in that moment? He had wanted out, but he was still in. Awakening to that, she couldn't imagine… It sent shivers up her spine, and she was thinking all these emotions she'd been seeing on the faculty's faces that morning, by now she was showing them as well. She tried to pull it back in, not to leave too much out there for all to see. It wasn't their business.

Her history with Karofsky read like something out of a messed up drama. The cheerleader and the football player, lording over with the status they had wanted and gotten, harboring secrets, using each other to protect those secrets but understanding the things they shared until they almost looked out for one another, and then for those they had once tossed around. And then… this.

She needed to see him. She didn't know what she'd say or do, just that she had to see him… She felt shivers… She still couldn't believe it…

TO BE CONCLUDED (MONDAY)


	2. A Lesson in Fight

_**This is a shift day [see above].** There will be another upload this afternoon: The Long Aloha, chapter 5._

* * *

><p><strong>2 of 2<strong>

**"A Lesson in Fight"**

He was going to be okay, they said. She didn't know how much faith to put into those words, but regardless she took this as her time to decide. She'd been debating with herself on if and when to go see him, what she might say… Reaching some sort of decision was not without difficulties. It demanded that she address certain things with herself, and she was reminded how stubborn she could be at times. She treated the things she wasn't ready or able to think about, much less talk about, as though they didn't exist to her or something. She'd made great strides in that department lately, but it wasn't a total fix.

But then they said he'd be alright, and she could only think to get there and see him. So she had gone. She'd had to wait for a moment before they'd let her in with him, and as she stood waiting she had to examine by herself the emotions she was feeling in that moment, so not to present the wrong ones.

The one she found which surprised her the most was something of anger, betrayal. She'd thought he was doing okay, and that had come to matter to her. There he was, with who he was, and she had known his struggle over the past year, but then he'd gotten to where he was and she'd held that as some sort of sign. Now he'd fallen and it had upset something inside her. She felt awful for thinking it immediately, knowing at least some of the sequence of events that had led him here now, but she couldn't shake it right away. For a moment she'd felt abandoned.

And then there was the fear, though it wasn't exclusive to him, to that thought of his 'trigger' and hers both, it was just… being here, the hospital. Her whole life she had been the same way, despising the place ever since her grandfather had gone in one and never come out of it. She didn't want to see people she cared about in this place, because she felt anything could happen, and all of a sudden they'd be taken from her.

Of course, there was relief – he was alive. Whether that meant much to him again, she wouldn't know until she spoke with him, saw him, but he was here and selfish or not, it gave her that relief. Their whole messed up little story needed a happy ending, it just did… it just had to.

They told her she could go in, and she took careful steps toward that room, like pulling with caution at something to reveal what was under. What would he be like? Would he look like himself? But then he was there, sitting up in the bed, and save for the gown, he looked normal except… there were his eyes, and somewhere in them, not long ago, there had been the desperation that had pushed him, and it was still working itself out of his system in a way. Having her there probably didn't help. He knew that she knew… and maybe he understood her emotions without her ever having to show them.

"Hey," she stood there for a moment before indicating the chair at his bedside, and he gave the slightest of nods. She went and took a seat. "How… how are you feeling?" He closed his eyes for a beat.

"Better than I did a couple days ago," he told her. Silence hung in the air for a moment. "I wasn't sure you'd come."

"Hey, what are… former beards for?" she shrugged, and it broken the tension, especially to see the edge of a smile capturing him when she said it. "Listen, I feel kind of stupid for asking this, but I have to. Are you going to be okay?"

"I… I hope so," he told her, honest. "I don't know what things are going to be like now, but I know I don't want them to be over. I thought I did and now…" He closed his eyes again, and she wondered where his mind had gone. "My dad, he…" Dave breathed. She knew he'd been the one to find him, and now thinking about it, she felt a shiver of absolute anguish, imagining what that would have been like for him, unsuspecting and all of a sudden…

"Is he here?"

"Yeah, somewhere, I'm not sure… My mother isn't." The turn made her look up. "She hasn't been… I don't think she knows how to…" He paused. "I'm not going to do it again," he declared, like he needed her to know.

"I know," she told him, though she didn't know if that was truth she believed or her clinging to hope again. The only thing flashing through her mind right then was 'Something brought him there once, what if it brings him there again? Does it ever end? Can we ever just be okay?' And there was that fear again. "You could have called me," she ended up saying, and she quieted immediately, looking to him like she expected him to yell at her or… He just looked back, nodded.

"I know," now he said, and maybe he had unspoken motives behind those words as well.

"I'm just glad you're alive," she told him, and she hadn't expected the quiver in her voice, and after that she hadn't expected his holding his hand out to her. She grasped it, turning her head momentarily to swipe her free hand at her eyes and make sure she wasn't crying. She looked back to him, her eyes no longer showing sadness, but instead extending a defiance to him. They were going to get through this, both of them, they'd make sure of it. His response was a squeeze of her hand – yes, they would.

After she'd left him, she took that walk to get her out of that hospital. What had happened with Karofsky had forced her to acknowledge even the strongest of them were not infallible, that they were as fragile as any other. It made her feel a whole host of emotions, but among them she still could still feel hope, clawing on, resilient. Things may not have been perfect now, but she would continue to rely on those bright spots in her life that could guide her out of the dark.

THE END


End file.
